For the record

I don't know if anyone has noticed lately, but I've been a little sad. That's actually not entirely true. I'm Fine(tm).  In fact, I'm so Fine(tm) that the word Fine(tm) has completely lost all meaning to me.

Just to recap: I'm fine.

And I really am.

I'm in this limbo period between just having made the decision to apply for grad school and then actually applying for grad school, so that's hard because my mind immediately jumps to oh I should look at the schools in that area for Lena and how walkable is this campus when I haven't even been accepted yet, and this sort of ends up with me curling up in a neat little web of my own thoughts and day dreams just...dreaming.

I've been fairly anti-social these past few weeks, mostly because I think so much of my energy (besides the normal every day to day exertions) is going into thinking about the future, and I've been putting Lena to bed and just opening a book, which has been really nice, and I love being in a relationship with my local library, but it's time to get out more.

Last night I went to see Bela Fleck with Aspen at Memorial Hall. It happened to coincide with the last day of classes, and campus is positively buzzing with excitement. (See here.) It was amazing to be a part of it, and it was also really fun to just break the mold for a day. My days are so scripted with Lena, evenings are spoken for. I pick Lena up from day care, we make dinner, we eat dinner, play, bath, books, bed. It was nice to break free from that for one night.

But not too nice.

So for the record, I'm giving myself one more month. One more month of sports bras and young adult novels. One more month of declining social invitations and hiding out under the covers. One more month of wallowing in my own thoughts, and then I'm doing it. Big things. Watch out world, Rachael is coming for you.

In a month. And she'll have shaved legs and a real bra on.