In case you missed it...

...This is a blog about parenthood.

Consider yourself warned.





Parenthood is very 'in' now. I think because smart, funny, women started having kids so now pop culture is filled with smart, funny commentaries on parenthood. And everyone is all like, "Here's what they don't tell you!---You shit on yourself! Breastfeeding is really weird! Afterbirth!"

All is fun and games, and you're like, "Hey, that's cool, but that's not going to be my experience."

I did this with the one thing that people casually mentioned mothers might deal with after giving birth, which is: bladder control.

Oh can I tell you the horror stories that people have told me--peeing when you sneeze, peeing when you run,  peen when you--Okay you get the point.

And I was like, oh, that's not really going to happen to me, I'm young, I'm fit, my muscles will bounce back.

So life is good. It's been five years, I sometimes pee a little if I'm sneezing and walking somewhere very quickly, but for the most part, I've been good. (I know, you were really wondering.)

UNTIL MONDAY.

Monday was a teacher work day, so I took Lena to Defy Gravity!, which is this awesome trampoline place where the entire floors are trampolines and you just jump the whole time and then freak out that your five year old will get run down by a preteen, but it was somuchfun.

Now, I have not jumped on a large trampoline since before becoming pregnant. After three big jumps to get myself going in the air pretty high, I get this feeling...and then think to myself midair, ohhhh shit..

Of course I really should have thought "oh pee!"

Ba dum chhh.

Jumping!! On trampolines!!!

The worst of it is, ever since then I've been, how do I say this kindly...leaking more. Like parents do.

Parenthood is awesome. Taking Lena to a trampoline place was a blast, I jumped like I haven't jumped in a long time. My arms(?) where inexplicably sore the next day. Afterwards we went to Rise, and got a donut snack and biscuits for lunch. And I would love to say something super gross and poetic about how every bit of leaky pee that comes out reminds me that I am a mother, but that is just too ridiculous. Being a mother reminds me that I am a mother, and that is still the coolest thing in the world.

(The second coolest thing in the world--or rather, tied for first coolest thing in the world is that I am going to grad school in the fall. I'm going to be a grad student!! Which is also very important but apparently not as important as telling the internet that I've been peeing myself lately.)