Tidbits.

1) Valentine's day. I disprove of Lena's daycare perpetuating the farce that is Valentine's day. They are training her to be crushed in high school when her crush doesn't show up on Feb 14 because he is out having sex with his senior girlfriend in a car somewhere, and then again sometime between 20 and 25 waiting for a call or flowers or chocolate from some romanticized version of whatever sex she happens to be attracted to.
Not to mention that giving out Valentines at 4 is really just about impressing other parents. Do Lena and I spend an afternoon "crafting" together to make personalized valentines? Answer: No. I go to Target and pick out the least obnoxious least commercialized valentine's I could find. (Twilight or Glee?)

2) Pops told me today that Lena is 4 which means that it's basically a third of the way until she is a teenager. I think this was meant to be comforting, but it's really just scary.

3) The past few days have been gorgeous, and this has got to be the most mild winter we've had in a long time, but today is cold and rainy, and there are so many birds in the yard and it makes me remember a short story I was working on, and that I could get behind bird watching.

Finally,

4) It's hard to disentangle yourself from something that's been an almost constant presence for almost three years. It's petrifying and exciting. Some days it's like waking up from a nightmare with too many blankets on top of you, and it's a struggle to get free even when you know there's nothing scary anymore. Other times it's like coming up for air after a long time underwater. Anyway, it's all hard and complicated, but also the right thing to do. It's hard to wake up from a nightmare, but it's better in the end. Even if it was a nightmare disguised as a dream, and even if it was a dream that we called love.