two things from this morning

1.

I burnt Lena's toast this morning--it was new bread; fluffy and flimsy, quicker to harden in our oven.

(Side list, Things I Wish My House Had  (Even Though it's Still a Great House) in order of importance: dishwasher, a toaster oven, indoor laundry.)

There is a one second pause when I wonder whether I should make her new toast, then I shrug and go ahead and smother the flattened brick of bread with nutella. I put the plate with the toast in front of her and Lena looks at it. It even looks hard. I'm stealing myself to remake her toast, or to tell her to shut up and eat what I give her, and she says, in the most upbeat and enthusiastic way, "Oooh, crunchy!"

I smile and watch her first bite, the crunch is loud, magnifying. And she says, "It's delicious, mommy."

If I wasn't so rushed I probably would have cried.

2.

L has been sick basically this whole week, and this is the first morning she wakes up without a fever, though she still has this maddeningly fake cough. (Coughing like Drake in a Future song!) I decide to not rush us to the bus (which comes at 7:10) and instead let her sleep a little longer and drive her to school (which starts at 7:50). It turns out she's ready at like, 7:12, and then from 7:15-7:40 just lists off the time and tells me how much time we have and she doesn't want to be late to school and there are only 30 minutes before school 20 minutes before school mom are you ready yet school starts in 15 minutes.

Anyways so today was the last day that I will ever drive that ungrateful child to school.